My perspective creates my reality because I find whatever I look for. Confused? Let me share an experience with you. There have been times when I have been upset with my husband. I am sure this probably does not happen with you and your spouse (LOL) but read on anyway. For example one weekend I was away at a workshop. I asked him to do 2 things so I wouldn’t have to deal with it when I got home. Guess what, those things were not done when I returned. I was tired and immediately reacted with not just disappointment but anger. Coming from this angry perspective I can find all kinds of things to reinforce the belief that he is lazy and doesn’t care about me. I remember every time he didn’t do something that I asked him to, when he forgot a significant date like our anniversary, how he doesn’t care about my needs etc. That is because my mind is looking for things to reinforce my current belief.
However if I look at it from a different perspective things can change quickly. In the above example when I asked him what he had done for 2 days (in a not so nice tone of voice) he had actually done other things that needed doing and helped me in a different way. He also had taken time to exercise and do other things to nourish himself which is important. Unfortunately we were both angry at this point. He felt unappreciated now. As I thought about what he had done I realized he had not forgotten about my needs at all, he thought what he had done would have helped me more. I then started to remember all the times he had arranged his schedule to help me with projects I wanted done, some of the fun activities we had done recently and some small but helpful errands he had done that week. When I looked at what he had done with love rather than anger everything changed.
I thanked him for what he had done and after a short cooling off period we were able to sit and have an open discussion about the incident. When I looked for his good traits I could talk to him with love and explain my needs and perspective while listening to him and his thought process so we could better understand each other.
Whenever we come from a place of anger or scarcity this creates resentment and fear. We look for all the bad things in that person, incident or in our life. When we stop and see the good or find something to be grateful for in the situation, person or our life we can create peace and joy for ourselves and those around us. My perspective creates my reality and so it is with you as well.
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Laurie Ratto, RN, BSN, Speaker, HTCP, CCA has 30+ years’ experience helping people to heal from physical, mental , and emotional pain. She provides a safe, nurturing space for women to release fears and self-doubt, what spiritually ties us to pain. Laurie Ratto specializes in complementary medicine, as a holistic healer, she keeps her RN certification current because she understands the power of balance as we heal.